home           shit stuff           books           forum           about

		Charity, Trips of a lifetime for There you are, an Inca, sitting on your Trail, appreciating the view and munching on a coca leaf, generally enjoying the atmos, when along come 30 bored computer programmers from Bristol, having the time of their fucking lives 'raising money for cancer'. It's okay, though — it's 'for charity'. Because charity does not begin at home: it begins on holiday. Previously, people booked a holiday and paid for it themselves. You didn't say to your workmates: 'I fancy two weeks in Ibiza, getting ripped to the tits on Ecstasy tablets and contracting an STD: fancy chipping in? Go on, if you all put in 50 quid I can go for jack nix.' Now, though, people are quite happy to say: 'Go on, it's only 50 quid and it's for disabled kiddies.' But then they mumble: 'Except half of it pays for me to go camel trekking in Mongolia.' And when you ask them to repeat the second bit louder, they show you a picture of a child who's been blown up by a mine. Other similar gambits might include: 'If you pay for me to go to the pub tonight, I'll put your change in the charity box — go on, it's for lifeboats, you stingy bastard.'
				Some shit things: Prince Andrew Bratz Charity, Trips of a lifetime for Che Guevara merchandise Citybreaks ‘Contemporary’, the word Football pundits 'Having one of those days?' advertising James Blunt Lemsip Richard Littlejohn, gays constantly sharking after Some clips from the audiobook: Delicatessen counters at supermarkets Election planes Global warming sceptics Interactive media Nu-snobbery