Richard Littlejohn, gays constantly sharking
after

Richard Littlejohn is quite hard done by. I don’t just mean the way he looks – that face and so on. People can be really very rude about him. These people go around saying the million-a year Mail columnist is ‘just a greasy homophobic shithouse’. They say he’s the sort of unmitigated nasty person who could suggest we should be pleased if refugees drown on their way to Britain. The sort of heartless fuck who could say of the Rwandan genocide and the terrorised people fleeing it:
‘Does anyone really give a monkey’s about what happens in Rwanda? If the Mbongo tribe wants to wipe out the Mbingo tribe then as far as I am concerned that is entirely a matter for them’, not caring about the gross associations of the word ‘monkey’s’ or maybe even actively enjoying them.

‘What a cunt.’ That is what these people say.

But what is clear from Mr Littlejohn’s articles (he often expounds on the matter), and what might go some way to explaining his advanced level of anxiety and social fear, is that he is under constant pressure from gay people – or, if you will, ‘proselytising homosexuals and lesbians’ who are forever ‘recruiting outside schoolgates’. The country is being increasingly gripped by an all-pervasive, creeping, fully gay conspiracy, chock full of men whose only wish is to give Richard Littlejohn a good bumming.

It’s ‘poovery’. They want, quite literally, to touch his little john.

Maybe it’s more than one gay man at a time – big chaps, with tattoos, perhaps five or six of them – perhaps even covered in sensual oils, caressing and massaging Littlejohn, fingers and tongues seeking out hitherto unknown pleasure spots, teasing his anus, rolling him over under a pulsating sea of supple male flesh. We just don’t know.

Dick? He’s having none if it. Maybe if all these ‘homosexualists’ gave him some space he’d calm down a bit and stop being such a fucker. We just don’t know. But, please, for now, give the man a break and refrain from trying to put his erect penis in your mouth.